What if Raghav had tried one of those numbers just before the suicide? Maybe if he had spoken to someone, he would have changed his mind. I remember desperately calling some of the suicide helplines listed on Google only to find them all not functioning. And my way of dealing with the pain was also to immerse myself in work вЂ“ petitioning the government to set up a 24/7 suicide helpline. To those who are left behind, life is never the same again. ItвЂ™s a cycle, and each day brings new emotions, and we are all learning to deal with it. There are days when dad and I are okay, and mom is in a terrible state, so we help her through it and on other days I am down in the dumps. We wallowed in our collective loss and found solace in each other. RaghavвЂ™s suicide brought mom, dad, and me closer. CouldnвЂ™t help Raghav but need to help others: Suicide Helplines Raashi вЂ“ a crusader for mental health issues, suicide in particular. ItвЂ™s a very crippling feeling вЂ“ the loss of a loved one, to suicide. I had to seek medical intervention and take prescribed medicines to be able to function normally again. There was a phase after his death, where I would wake up because of nightmares the anxiety and guilt almost started hurting me physically. I feel like I was so short-sighted and selfish, I didnвЂ™t watch out for my baby brother. I didnвЂ™t take a step back and check in on him as I should have. Perhaps I was so caught up in my dreams that I lost track of RaghavвЂ™s feelings and insecurities. Even now, I am not entirely sure I want the feeling to go away. Immediately after the suicide, I spent many months feeling incredibly guilty.

The guilt of not asking him is something I carry within. I never explicitly asked him any questions, and he never confided in me. I assumed he would come and speak to me about things that troubled him. and we would speak about things that seemed to trouble him at school as well. Raghav would always enquire about my college, how I was faring etc. вЂAsk, donвЂ™t wait for the other person to speak.вЂ™ My idea about the relationship I shared with him changed after his suicide, and I am now left feeling that perhaps I didnвЂ™t know him as well as I thought I did. I thought if he ever had a problem, I would be the first person to whom he reached out. But I donвЂ™t know why we never asked each how we were feeling. We would discuss a whole range of things, from celebrity suicides to mental health initiatives. I often ask myself вЂ“ did I miss something? Could I have helped? I donвЂ™t have the answers. вЂDid I not see the signs?вЂ™ Did I miss something? I still cannot believe I lost him to suicide. He rooted the loudest for me and believed in the dreams I had. Raghav was my confidant and my ally in the truest sense. He sought out the good in people and things around him. Raghav was the kind of boy who would find beauty in pretty much everything sunsets, butterflies, rain, the stars. I miss him, and no matter how many times I say these words, the pain refuses to leave me. But once he did, he was a joy to be around. He was an extremely sensitive soul and would always take time to open up.

Raghav was quite mature for his age, since the time I can remember. While twenty months have passed by since that night, the hurt, guilt, anger, and pain lingers on. I would very often tease and irritate him, so much so that people often mistook me to be the younger one. Like most other sibling relationships, ours was fraught with fights, arguments, bickering, and a lot of love. All he said was, вЂњRaghav is gone.вЂќ вЂRaghav was a joy to be around.вЂ™ Raashi and Raghav. Until that moment, I had never imagined that my father could cry. I remember being gripped by a fear that I can never put in words. I called him a few seconds later on his mobile, and all I heard was a cry. I only vaguely heard what he mumbled on his way out. on what I can only describe as a regular evening at home, the doorbell rang and before I could process what was happening, my father, Rajeev Thakran, ran out of the house. Life, as I knew it, has not been the same since then.ДЄt 8.45 p.m. On 6 January 2019, my younger brother, who was all of eighteen, died by suicide. It only takes a few minutes for your life to do a complete 180-degree turn, and no one can understand and relate to this sentiment better than me, Raashi Thakran.

Cry of fear suicide